a drunk carrying around a big book.

so today was okay i guess. cracked my lip but that was the worst of it. did a ton of laundry. looking at flights back home. going to visit for a week since i have the time. want to see my mom. i also want to see how the bay area makes me feel after six months. very excited to eat everything though. ca def has better food in my opinion.

i was rummaging through my purse and at the bottom was the little blue big book. i think that is insane since i would have it with me when i would get plastered in midtown after work. what a fucking joke. what if someone found that? sad really.

i’ve lost two jobs because of alcohol.

which i need to constantly remember in order to not drink. things that hurt and have long healed are still huge examples of why i can not drink. i am not like other people.

should i move back to california? if i do it will be very soon, like in two weeks. i must decide now.