a drunk carrying around a big book.

so today was okay i guess. cracked my lip but that was the worst of it. did a ton of laundry. looking at flights back home. going to visit for a week since i have the time. want to see my mom. i also want to see how the bay area makes me feel after six months. very excited to eat everything though. ca def has better food in my opinion.

i was rummaging through my purse and at the bottom was the little blue big book. i think that is insane since i would have it with me when i would get plastered in midtown after work. what a fucking joke. what if someone found that? sad really.

so before i start my work, i would like to use this relaxing free time to find more sober blogs. i really want to stick to it. my life has never been easy, i’ve had to deal with extreme low self esteem and a shitty childhood. but these are things i have overcome. and being a drunk is the next thing i must over come. i can not achieve any of the things i would like to if i do not, and turn into my dad. full of regrets. i have worked very hard to get into shape which is another daily struggle. i often wish i could be normal, and just float by effortlessly day to day. yet i know this is possible… i just have more to over come than others.

but anyway… any good sober blogs i should be following? 

i refuse to work in a bar again. it was fun, but that is not the life i want to live. and i am not capable of living that fun life. i am an alcoholic. i can’t just have a beer or two and feel complete. and i love craft beer. le sigh.